A Voice.

I don't get homesick very often, but I was homesick last week.  It was for something that caught me a little off guard...I was homesick for democracy.

I found myself in a situation where I didn't have a voice.  At all.  Now that's not all that unusual, there is a whole language barrier that I deal with on a daily basis.  (I really should find a french class now that all of the kids are in school.)  But that's not what this is about.

The first week of school, the usual calendar of the year's events such as vacations, holidays and class trips came home in a backpack (or three.)  A tiny little detail jumped out at me immediately.  This year's Classes Vertes (we call it Green Week at our house - it's a Monday thru Friday class trip for the 1st thru 3rd graders) is no longer for 1st graders.

Ok, yes.  I know.  If you are reading this and you are an American, you are probably thinking, "First grade is much too young to go away on an overnight (let alone 4 nights) away from home with a school group."  That's what I used to think too.   I thought that exact same thing two years ago when AJ was in First Grade and his teachers started talking about their spring Green Week trip.

But despite my anxiety at my oldest baby leaving to go away with his class, I didn't want to be the only parent to keep my kid home.  I didn't want him to miss out on a bonding experience with his class.  We're here in this country for an immersion experience.  So I told myself that first week of school, his first year of primary, "It's nothing to worry about right now, kids grow and change a lot in a short amount of time, we'll deal with this in the spring when it's time for the trip."

For the last two years, Monkey (AJ's little brother) has watched enviously, waiting for his moment when he could climb on that school bus and go away with his class (and his big brother).  Last year, he shouted to the whole world that he only had one more year to wait.  He was finally going to get to go to Green Week this year.

An email to the principal and a conversation with Luke's teacher revealed that this year, "parents complained that the children were too little."  Now, I happen to know that parents have said that in the past (I said that) but never, was the green week trip canceled for the first graders.

I also know that there are a lot of parents in Monkey's class that only have one child, or that have an oldest child.  I don't know what happened, I don't know who or how the decision was made.  I do know that I never had a voice.

If I had a voice, this is what I would have said.  I would have said, yes, I know they are little.  Yes, I know it's four days.  But the teachers do an excellent, amazing job at preparing the kids for these days away.  And somehow, in all of that preparation of the children, they happened to prepare the parents too. I would have also said that as hard as it was to say goodbye to my baby for a few days, the difference I noticed in him when he got off that bus to hug me again at the end of it all, was well worth it.  He was confident.  He was self-assured.  He was so proud of himself.  And he had so, so much fun.

I am so sad that Monkey doesn't get to do that.  I will be crushed if we are called back to the U.S. before he gets a chance to go.  I am sad that I never had a chance to stand up for the teachers, and tell everyone how good of a job that they did with the children.  And how I felt the same way - but even more so because it isn't even our home country.   But mostly, I am so sad that I never had a voice.

Now to be fair, I don't know if this is the way things always get decided with something of this sort in Belgium, or if it's a quirky one-time thing that just happened at our school.  But it made me homesick for the democratic process I would normally take for granted. The process where all of the parents (or at least those that wanted a voice) come together in one room and they talked about their concerns together.  But I know that it certainly didn't happen for this situation.