I Hate Target.

I hate Target.

Did I really just say that out loud? My Americanized friends here in Belgium are going to be so mad at me for even thinking that, let alone saying it out loud.  That’s almost like saying “I hate Oprah.” Which I’m not saying at all but they are two sacred housewife brands that go hand in hand. 

Anyway.  So yes, I hate Target and here’s why:

When we go back to the U.S., I don’t pack any toiletries.  Here, toiletries are expensive.  (Let me rephrase: Here, everything is expensive.)  For example, a bottle of Pantene Shampoo or Conditioner costs about five euros per bottle (or more) and is roughly half the size of a U.S. bottle of the same stuff for about three dollars (on sale?).  Figure in the exchange rate, multiple that example by all of the various toiletries a family of five needs regularly and that adds up.  But then again, it doesn’t really make sense for me to buy suitcases full of toiletries to “stock-up” when I’m back in the U.S., as suitcase space is usually reserved for items that we can’t find here in Belgium.  A happy medium is to not bring any of the expensive toiletries from Belgium with to the U.S., and instead make a Target-run within a day or two of landing stateside. 

This year, on our very first morning in Minnesota, I found myself alone returning from the rental car pick-up.  The three kids and one very ecstatic grandma were happily getting reacquainted at a park.  I needed diapers.  I swung into one of the many Targets on my route home to “get a few things.” 

Do you have any idea how overwhelming it is walking into a Target after an extended hiatus?  In the past I have always mentally prepared myself for this.  Gone in with some sort of shopping strategy.  I don’t know why I thought I could go in for “just a few things.”  Maybe because we were just back in April and I wasn’t thinking that it would hit me so hard?  Or maybe it was because I hadn’t even been on U.S. soil for more than 12 hours and the jet lag buzz was still peaking. 

But seriously, I needed diapers!  And I was alone in the car without the three kids!  Talk about the stars lining up.  Just a few things or not, it was a chance early on in our vacation to knock a whole bunch of “stuff” off of our never-ending shopping list.

I will not even tell you what my bill came to.  I will tell you that it included the usual boxes of colored sugar cereals necessary for any good summer vacation, several grocery items, the whole range of aforementioned toiletries -- including suntan lotion and bug spray (neither of which we really need much of in Belgium) and a whole plethora of children’s medicines and topical creams that are unavailable or require a prescription here.  And of course the handful of random non-essential “spontaneous” purchases that Target is so very good at.  A small plastic serving platter in a whimsical summer pattern immediately comes to mind. 

And I know this will come as no surprise, but I almost forgot the diapers.

And I know that this will also not come as a surprise, (and maybe even redeem my reputation back here in Brussels among the expat community), but we’ve been back home for roughly seven hours and I’ve already caught myself saying “I miss Target.”  More than once.  I guess I will have to add it to my love/hate relationship list.